Do You Love Me?

Today's Sunday reading from the Gospel of John (21:15-19) is very personal to me.  It is the time when the risen Jesus spoke to Peter, confirming Peter's love and willingness to follow Jesus.  Jesus asked for Peter's commitment three times, identical to the number of times Peter denied Jesus prior to the Crucifixion.

“Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?”

Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.”

He then said to Simon Peter a second time,

“Simon, son of John, do you love me?”

Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said to him, “Tend my sheep.”

Jesus said to him the third time,

“Simon, son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was distressed that Jesus had said to him a third time,

“Do you love me?” and he said to him,

“Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep."

A couple of years ago I had a dream about this passage except Jesus was sitting across from me saying these words.  Previously when I heard this passage, I thought Jesus was chiding Peter, making him feel guilty for hurting and denying Him.  However, in my dream another Jesus was speaking.  He said the same words, but tenderly, with a slight smile and gentle eyes.  His eyes looked right through me.  He knew the answer to the question better than I did; in fact, He didn't need to know I love Him, He needed me to know.  That's what Peter meant when he said "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you."  How can you not love someone who knows you more intimately than you know yourself and still loves you - enough to die for you?

How many times did Peter remember this conversation with Jesus?  Jesus entrusted to Peter the most weak and helpless thing Jesus had - us - His sheep.  In every hardship and frustration Peter endured in those early years of the Church, this one conversation - and the look in Jesus' eyes - must have sustained him.  And with that same look of love and tenderness, Jesus gently told Peter:

"Amen, amen, I say to you, when you were younger,

you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted;

but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands,

and someone else will dress you

and lead you where you do not want to go.”

He said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God.

And when he had said this, he said to him, “Follow me.”

These are disturbing words, but Peter knew they were delivered with love.  He had to know that Jesus would be with him through it all.  The Acts of the Apostles demonstrates that Peter was a changed man; no longer a man who would cower in fear and deny Jesus, but a man who would boldly stand before the authorities and proclaim his intent to do all that Jesus asked him to do.  Acts 5: 27-32. What changed him?

The look in Jesus' eyes: "Do you love me?"

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