Silence

It's been a week now since Lent began and it's been quite a week.  I gave up three things for Lent:
(1) refined sugar;
(2) use of my cell phone for anything other than telephone calls or text messages (no apps, FB, Twitter, etc.); and
(3) use of my car sound system (radio).

I really thought sacrificing refined sugar was going to be hard and I am reminded of Christ's suffering every night when I really want something sweet.  However, I was not prepared for the real mortification - going without my car radio.

I drive 60 miles a day during my work commute.  I'm not used to sitting in silence.  It feels weird.  When I get into the car, I immediately feel like something is missing.  It's just automatic - I want to hear noise.  The silence is deafening and it's hard to be a captive to the silence.

I am making good use of my time.  I'm praying.  Lots of rosaries and Divine Mercy chaplets.  They have been great, but I am still looking for more.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church addresses this issue:

"Contemplative prayer is silence, the 'symbol of the world to come' or 'silent love.'  Words in this kind of prayer are not speeches; they are like kindling that feeds the fire of love.  In this silence, unbearable to the 'outer' man, the Father speaks to us his incarnate Word, who suffered, died, and rose; in this silence the Spirit of adoption enables us to share in the prayer of Jesus." CCC 2717

Sometimes it feels like He's not speaking to me, but I know that can't be true.  I think I'm so used to noise, I don't know how to listen.  I'm working on it.  It is a sacrifice for me to go without audio stimulation, but I'm hoping through this sacrifice to get a better sense of what it feels like to be quiet and wait for God to speak.  

"My soul waits in silence for God only;

From Him is my salvation" Psalm 62:1

CC